QUICK NICKS

FAMILY FORTUNES
 
Over a period of several weeks Nick ran a feature on his show about that great game show Family Fortunes. During this he highlighted the stupidity of certain contestants by reading out the funniest wrong answers ever.

 
A famous Scotsman: Vinny Jones
A famous Scotsman: Jock
An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers: A horse
A jacket potato topping: Jam
A food that can be brown or white: Potatoes
A sign of the zodiac: April
A job a working dog does: Slave
Something with a hole in it: A window
Something people might be allergic to: Skiing
A type of large cat: Persian
A type of record: Floppy disc
Something associated with pigs: The police
A non-living object with legs: A plant
A domestic animal: Leopard
Something red: My cardigan
A kind of ache: Filet-o-fish
A food that can be easily eaten without chewing: Er, chips?
Something you beat: An apple
A dangerous race (i.e. a motor race or summat): The Arabs
A number you have to memorise: Seven
Some famous brothers: Bonnie and Clyde
Something that floats in the bath: Water
Something in the garden that's green: The shed
Something a blind man might use: A sword
Something you wear on the beach: A deckchair
A famous cowboy: Buck Rogers
An animal you might see at a zoo: A dog
A famous bridge: The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
A part of the body beginning with the letter N: Knee
Something you put on walls: Roofs
Something you do in the bathroom: Decorate
A famous Royal: Mail
Something slippery: A con-man
A way of cooking fish: Cod
A form of transport you can walk around in: My foot
A method of securing your home: Put the kettle on
Something you do before going to bed: Sleep
Something a cat does: Goes to the toilet
An animal beginning with the letter B: Bullfrog
The last thing you take off before going to bed: Your feet
Something that makes you scream: A squirrel
Something you have with coffee: The Sunday Sport
A song with 'Moon' in the title: 'Blue Suede Moon'
Something that flies that doesn't have an engine: A bicycle with wings
Something with a red light on it: A Dalek
Something you open other than a door: Your bowels