QUICK NICKS

INSURANCE CLAIMS
 
Some people have written in to insurance companies claiming money for all sorts of incidents. Below are a selection that Nick read out during some of his shows.

  
Come home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn't have.
In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of it's intentions.
My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my hand through it.
The pedestrian had no idea which way to go, so I ran over him.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
A pedestrian hit me and them went under my car.
The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my Mother-in-Law and headed over the embankment.
I had been shopping for plants all day, and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprung up, obstructing my vision. I did not see the other car.
I had been driving my car for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I was on the way to the doctors with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
To avoid hitting the car in front of me, I hit the pedestrian.
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my had, I found that I had a skull fracture.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the street when I struck him.
I saw the slow moving, sad-faced gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some cows.
The telephone pole was approaching fast. I attempted to swerve out of it's way, when it struck the front of my car.